After a few hard hours of listening and physical therapy this morning, I ended up at AntiGravity Yoga for vestibular and proprioceptive therapy and cried like big old baby at the end. My instructor held me in her peppermint-lavender scented embrace and said, "You're not the first person to release like this here." And then she said something like, You spend so much time in your body, years holding it all in, and then it all comes out here, you let it all go, weightless, free.
I'm home now.
I've spent the last half hour sitting on my T-stool wrapped up in my hug-vest, and am finally feeling human again. Real, living, human. Good. Sad. Grateful. Exhausted. At peace, relaxed, but still registering about a 4 out of 5 for pain. And yet, more than anything else, feeling like some kind of miracle to be here at all.